Unicorn on the cob.

If you do drugs, and I mean the hard shit - not you little pot heads, then I’m sure you can relate to the kind of dreams that I have. I don’t know where this shit comes from, but for someone who’s never done any sort of hard drug before it kind of blows my mind. I could try to sit here and explain it to you, but even if I tried my hardest it would be complete nonsense.

So let’s try!

At one point, friends and I were going to this outdoor type theatre to watch ‘Up’ in 3D but there weren’t many people there. Emily Blunt was coming up and we didn’t like her because she was a bitch, so a friend said ‘Ugh here comes Emily 2’. Apparently there were 2 Emily’s, and this one was the bad one. There was a mother with a toddler girl, the girl was holding the mothers cigarette as if she were smoking it herself. Next I was using a Biore pore strip for my nose and when I tried to rip it off my nose came off because I had forgotten it was detachable. While I had my nose in my hands I decided to get rid of any little blackheads on it before putting it back on. And when I did put it on, my nose ring is what held it in place. Eventually I was in a wooded area with 2 friends and the Jonas Brothers. It was dark, and the boys were falling in love. There’s a whole lot of in-between stuff here that I couldn’t put into words if I tried. Something about a spider and orange juice and the Grove and a bathroom and hairspray. Anyway, we ended up falling asleep semi-nude with the boys, and a fourth Jonas Brother (who in my dream I guess was the one named Joe?) came and got furious at his brothers. The purity nonsense, you know. They tried to explain they were in love, even though my friends and I secretly weren’t even really into them. And we all escaped through a tiny window.

My brain hurts trying to even explain this. I wish there was a machine I could hook up to my head that records my dreams like a DVR so I can look back and watch them in the morning. Imagine such an invention!

xo Jamie