Unicorn on the cob.

I’ve been meaning to post something about this, but oddly when I think of it I say ‘No, it can wait. I have laundry to do.’

I knew eventually it would turn itself around.

So, the point of this blog is to say …. I absolutely LOATHE people who refer to things or people as ‘so Hollywood’. First of all, you’re not even from Los Angeles. Second, neither is whatever it is you are referring to. All these stupid douche bags and scene sluts and drunk losers and wannabes would all be that same exact thing ….. back wherever they came from. The people who are actually from Los Angeles, do not fall in that category. All the weirdos you associate Hollywood with?! They’re from somewhere else! I can’t tell you how much it boils my blood when people write me on Myspace or Facebook and say ‘Hey I’m moving out there in 2 weeks….’. I just want to say WE HAVE ENOUGH OF YOU FUCKING LOSERS HERE! STAY WHERE THE FUCK YOU ARE!!!! Everyone comes here, creates traffic, pollution, overpopulation, stress … why do you need to come here?! You aren’t an actor. You’re not starring in movies or performing sold out concerts. You’re coming here because you think it’s ‘cool’. Then there are the ones who claim to ‘run LA’. It just makes me laugh. No, you don’t. How dare you even make such a statement and be from some other random state. It’s just ridiculous to me. At least people from other parts of California I can handle. It’s fine. But you come from Wyoming or New Mexico or North Dakota or some God forsaken place and want to invade this small city because it’s “cool”. College is one thing. It’s common for people to go away for college. But to move here just ‘because it’s LA’ …. bah. This I could go on about for days. But I will leave it at that.

Next are the arrogants. You know the ones. “I’m the next blah blah”…. “I’m taking over 2010”. Okay, if and when that happens, talk all you want. But if it’s all you talk about when no one even knows who you are, you just look and sound retarded. You know, the people who refer to themselves as ‘up and coming’. You aren’t ‘up and coming’ unless you have actually put your John Hancock on a recording contract or featured part in tv or film. Unless these qualities apply, you are aspiring. Not up and coming. There is a difference. Not to mention, aspiring is much more respectable. It’s the dream. The un-cocky realization that you’re aspiring to achieve your dreams. You’re not making assumptions, you’re just stating the fact.

On that note, there are the hundreds and hundreds of people who comment me on Myspace begging me to come check out their “new hit single” on their page. I’m sorry, but what classifies this unheard of, garage band produced noise as a ‘hit single’?? Hit singles are just that, HIT singles. They are a hit on the radio and downloads and on the charts and people know them and sing them. Your said ‘single’ is not a hit just because you call it that. Unless you pull a Kathy Griffin, and actually title your song ‘New Hit Single’. Which, I think I may have to consider now that I think about it.

Just because you signed up for a Myspace music page doesn’t make you a rapper. Or a singer. Hell I have one too. It doesn’t mean I am a singer or famous. I sing, but until I get my hands on a contract, it’s not what I do to pay bills. I am aspiring. I do it because I love it. I’m not forcing it on anybody or claiming to be something I’m not.

True I have quite a few people in mind as I write this. But truth be told, it’s something that bothers me and every other Los Angeles native that I know. Now I’m not saying that we’re better than you, but… do not refer to ‘Hollywood’ as being fake or self centered or shady. That’s all YOU. You out of towners who come here and act that way. Californians are the most real people that I know. You come here and act that way and blame the city. The city has nothing to do with it. Why don’t you let your mind wrap around that for a little minute.

P.S. it’s not CALI. It’s CALIFORNIA. You will never hear someone from CA refer to it as ‘Cali’. That’s out of towner clue number one.

xo Jamie