Unicorn on the cob.

Because if you have nothing better to do than stalk MINE, poke and prod at every little detail and then write about it, you have a sad, sorry existence.

Lately, certain people [or shall I say ‘person’, because every single post is exactly the same] has taken it upon themselves to dissect every single thing I say and try to use it to belittle me. Honestly, all this does is make me laugh and shake my head. Especially because it’s done ‘anonymously’. These people [or again, person] is obviously aware of my myspace, twitter and facebook. And yet uses a means in which you are anonymous to attempt to ‘talk shit’. Which doesn’t work, by the way.

I don’t understand people who stalk you on every website, if they are only hating on you. What’s the point?! And what the hell makes you so bitter?! I have never met you but obviously I have made a pretty large impact on your life if you take so much time out of it to brush up on mine. The funny thing is, I don’t know, nor do I care who you are. You, on the other hand, revolve your online life around me. Who is the clear winner there??

It’s just funny when said person tries to say things like I represent all ‘typical LA girls’ by being slutty, going to clubs, drinking and getting drunk, hooking up with guys….. I mean really?! If you’re so adamant on stalking my life, then you obviously know none of these things are even close to true. So the fact that you pull that kind of shit out of your ass just for attention is astounding. Firstly, I haven’t even stepped foot into a club or anything even similar in over a year. They are crowded, annoying, filled with smoke and obnoxiously drunk people who do nothing but boast about or act as if they have some sort of enviable ‘status’ and I want no part of it. If I go out, it’s to a hole in the wall sushi bar or my favorite karaoke spot. Not some stupid, played out Hollywood club. It’s not my scene. Secondly, I don’t get drunk. Mainly because it’s way too expensive for me to attempt it. I have an extremely high alcohol tolerance and I have no interest in meeting it. On the occasion I am with good friends and there is champagne or we sake bomb or have some margaritas, then I will have a few. But it’s very rare that you will find me ‘drunk’. Third, I never, absolutely NEVER hook up with guys. Even when I didn’t have my man, I am NOT about some little douche bag fucker who thinks he’s the shit trying to hook up with girls. I never even let guys TALK to me let alone think they are making any kind of physical contact near me. Guys make me sick and I am EXTREMELY picky about who I let into my life. I do not ‘hook up’. If I let a guy get close to me, he is there for a while. Period. Fourth, if you even LOOK at my pictures, everything I do is something like going to a wax museum, or Universal Studios, or to the zoo, or at a friends house. So I mean really, this ‘slutty, trashy club girl’ shit is just ridiculous. Why don’t you photograph me at these places then we’ll talk.

So if you have something to say, then grow some fucking balls and say it to ME. What the hell are you so scared of?! You obviously don’t know me, so why do you care about me knowing who you are? You apparently like to watch my every move, so, you live a sad life, but at least have the nerve to NOT do it anonymously like a scared little PUSSY. It’s so pathetic.

It’s especially funny that anyone like this thinks they affect my life in any way, or think it makes me feel bad about myself at ALL. It actually makes me feel incredibly good about myself, because I know my life isn’t as unfulfilled as yours. I don’t fill my life with jealousy and hate toward someone I know nothing about and then cyber-stalk them and try my best to garner their attention. If I have something not so nice to say about someone, it’s because I’ve just read about them saying or doing something stupid and I have an opinion. If I want to say Heidi Montag is a fucking fool for getting DDD tits and that much work done on her face then I will. But I sure don’t stalk her life and try to anonymously say some stupid bullshit to her. I have better things to do with my time.

And as far as this person thinking they know what I do in my daily life and how I fill out my time, you DON’T. Nobody does. What I am doing with my own time is my business and that’s it. I do not post or brag or inform the world of everything in my life because some things are private. And I do not like to mention things until they are coming into fruition. I don’t want to hype people up until there is something to show for it. This is my perfectionism at work. I am a writer. I am currently working on 6 different publishing writing endeavors. I am constantly writing lyrics and melodies for my producer friends who send me their beats, whether it be for me or one of their other artists. I have small businesses that I operate and help with. I am constantly helping organizations and volunteering my time as often as I can, which isn’t as often as I’d like but I’m sure it’s more than you do. I read. A LOT. I have a plethora of books because I read almost every night before I go to sleep. I have a higher vocabulary than you can even imagine from reading. If I come across a word I don’t understand, I write it down in a notebook and look up the definition and write it down. I am trying to teach myself French. I am constantly dreaming up new ways to create and use my imagination to the best of it’s ability, because to not would be a waste. I walk or jog almost daily. I work out as often as I can. I make time for my dogs and pay as much attention to them as they will let me. And this is just a small glimpse into what I do on a day to day basis. So don’t you dare try to sit like a stupid, anonymous log and attempt to know even an ounce of my life because you happen to catch some random tweet of mine here or there. You know NOTHING about me. Close friends of mine hardly know too much about me. It’s just ridiculous that people can assume such outlandish things.

My favorite are when these people like to call me ‘fake’. I’m sorry, I hate to break it to you… but I am as real as they come. The only thing fake about me are my acrylic nails. Thank you for thinking I have had my boobs done. What a compliment. Unfortunately, I just happen to be a very experienced and well-informed bra shopper. And trust me, when I do have my boobs done, I will hardly deny it. It’s no secret to anyone that I LOVE boobs. I have wanted mine done since before I can remember. Unfortunately, there are more important things to spend money on right now. And as far as my attitude goes, once again… YOU DO NOT KNOW ME. What are you even basing this ‘fake’ accusation on?! So ridiculous. I don’t try to ever be something I’m not. I will be the first to admit I am a klutz, random, ridiculous, witty, and sometimes bitchy human being. But anyone will tell you, I am very in tune with my conscience, and get sick at even the thought of people not recycling. I think of others before I think of myself. When it comes to Christmas, I NEVER disappoint because I pay attention all year long and I pick up on things and I store them in my memory. So people are genuinely surprised and happy with what I give them, which usually ends up being a lot. I spoil the people around me because it makes me happy to give. I think of strangers when I’m in the passengers seat. I like people to be courteous and treat to be treated. If I don’t finish a meal at a restaurant, I have it bagged up to give to a homeless person I may see on the way home. I don’t like to see food go to waste when there is someone on the street who will really appreciate it. I clean out my closet and dresser every 6 months and drop off unwanted clothes to Goodwill. I am only selling my stuff this time around so I can raise more money to donate to the Red Cross than I have already. Anything I can do to help, I do, and I do with a smile on my face. I never pass up an opportunity to make somebody happy because it makes ME happy. I support my friends when they have shows or birthdays or meltdowns because it makes me feel good to be there for them when they need it.

Yes I may be snappy or sarcastic or mouthy or bitchy sometimes, but the people who really DO pay attention to the things I say and read about me and know about me, know that I am this way and appreciate me for being REAL. I don’t give a shit who you are. If you say something stupid, I am going to let you know. It’s not my fault that half the internets population can’t form a grammatically stable sentence. Or use forms of internet ghetto slang that hurts my eyes and my brain when attempting to read it. Or ask really stupid questions or make really perverted comments or attempt to tell ME something about myself when they know nothing about me. It’s just plain ignorant. And I don’t put up with it. If I were “fake” I would slap a smile on my face and act like it’s okay to speak to me so ignorantly. Let that one swim around inside your empty head for a few minutes.

As far as the stupid ‘fan’ issue goes, WHO REALLY FUCKING CARES! I have had lots of people tell me they are a ‘fan’ of mine or of what I do. That’s perfectly fine. If people want to refer to themselves that way, then so be it. But I certainly never, EVER refer to people as ‘fans’. Because I am not a celebrity! I KNOW THIS! You think you are hurting my feelings by telling me I’m not. You are stupid! I have never claimed to be! And I certainly have never acted as such. The reason for the ‘fan page’ on facebook, which seems to be an issue with one loser in particular, is because [and I’ve said this a thousand times] FACEBOOK HAS A 5,000 FRIEND LIMIT. I did not know this when I signed up on my regular page, because it is not stated anywhere on the entire website. The only way to allow more people to become my friend is to create a ‘PAGE’. Is it my fault that facebook chose the words ‘become a fan’ for said pages?! No. But as I have clearly said on that page, it is not a “fan page”. It is simply a new FRIEND PAGE because I was getting way too many requests and not enough space. Now, if your issue is me adding so many people, then you are a moron. Why am I going to deny anyone who wants to be my friend? The more the merrier! I don’t ever go requesting anybody unless I actually know the person in my real life, or if it’s someone I admire. So if people feel the need to want to be MY friend, then I gladly accept it with open arms. I enjoy that people find me interesting enough or find something about me worthy of wanting to befriend. But then there are YOU. That small group of people who do it just to sit and stare at a life you wish you had. Why don’t you go out there and DO IT if you’re so envious of it?! It’s not that hard. Stop sitting back and watching. Get up and DO. I can’t understand how people can live life so bitterly. It’s got to be so miserable. Maybe you weren’t held enough as a child. But don’t take out your childhood neglect on me. I am not your therapist.

If you have a solid, legit reason to hate on me, then by all means let me know because I’d love to hear it.

But because I know I am a phenomenal human being, the only conclusion that I can come to is that you wish you had my life. Which is pretty damn pathetic, because I don’t do anything with mine that couldn’t be done by somebody else with a little ambition.

Get up and look in the mirror and evaluate yourself. Find out the reason you feel the need to hate on others because chances are, that’s where you’ll find it. It really makes no difference to me. I welcome the ignorance because it brings humanity into my life. And I always enjoy a good laugh. But just please don’t expect that what you say bothers, hurts or gets a rise out of me in any negative way. It doesn’t. And this blog is just to let you know how uneducated you are. Don’t try to dissect a life you know nothing about. You won’t find anything, because it’s not YOUR life. This isn’t the Truman Show. You’re not watching my every move 24 hours a day. And as you can clearly see by this blog, you’ve been quite horribly mistaken.

Now kindly shut the fuck up, or grow some balls and talk to me yourself. But this anonymous bullshit is just pathetic. Quit hiding. You know you just look like an idiot. Especially because its hardly worth an eye roll when I see such pitiful attempts at bashing. It just doesn’t work with me. It doesn’t affect me. You are definitely barking up the wrong tree.

Get a life. Stop obsessing over mine.

xo J