Unicorn on the cob.

While taking a semi-routine trip to the Frosty Queen [which happens to be my old stomping grounds - I make one mean chocolate dipped cone!] with my mom, we happened to stumble into quite the atypical conversation. One which probably comes off better when said aloud rather than written, but nonetheless it was one I couldn’t fight the urge NOT to share.

So, my brothers friend [they used to be really close in High School, still remained friends but not as tight as they used to be] committed suicide last week. This friend and I also share a pretty significant ‘connection’, if you will, but I’ll leave it at that. This evening my mom and brother were talking over dinner, and she said something along the lines of ‘Don’t you EVER do that to me.’ [You know, kill himself] to which he replied, ‘Man don’t YOU ever do that to ME.’
I told my mom on said car ride I’d actually been worried about her a few times, given the kinda shitty way things seem to go for her a lot of the time. And she said if she ever were going to have done it, it would have been after my dad died. But she assured me that since she got through that, there’s nothing she can’t handle. That put my mind at ease to hear. I mean it’s always good to hear that someone you love has no intention of ever committing suicide. End of morbid conversation. Or so I thought. After a bit of a slightly awkward pause, she then said, “But I want you to know, that if that were even a thought in my mind to ever do, I’d have taken you and Kyle with me.” She said this in all seriousness, like it was okay. I said “Uhhm, pardon?” And she continued, “I wouldn’t want you guys to have to go through life dealing with the fact that you knew your mother killed herself.” As shocked as I was, I managed to spill out “I’m pretty sure I’d have been able to deal with it, eventually!”
Please understand - she said this as calmly as though she were reading a grocery list. As though she were almost expecting me to be thankful. As if to reply, “Oh, that’s so thoughtful.” — And this is where telling the story in person would benefit the entire scenario, because the face I’m making at this point pretty much sums it all up.

And so, as long as I sleep any nights in this house, I’ll walk on the safe side and keep the door locked; with my trusty Blackberry by my side. In case I need the police on speed dial.

On a side note, anybody need a roommate???

xo J